It’s ok not to be ok.
I’ve written this in a previous blog, The Art of Pretending [<– it’s highlighted meaning it’s a link, click and read it!], and I’ve posted a picture of the quote on my Instagram page [might as well go follow that too].
I really do wish I took the advice I gave to others and applied it to my own life.
I know it’s ok not to be ok but boy do I just stuff everything in my Pandora’s Trunk.
I’m a giver. A carer. I give and I care for everyone else but myself, leaving me just so .. bleh, and I’m only just beginning to notice.
I realised it a lot this year when I gave so much to everyone and everything, leaving me drained and malnourished mentally and emotionally.
And through doing that I had become self-destructive.
So, imagine being in self-destruct mode, not even trying to find time for your own well-being because you think you’re fine and on top of that, pouring everything you have into everyone else!
Bloody hell! Who else felt drained just reading that? I did.
Self love is (ref: google definitions)
to regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.
That means focusing on you and your needs!! Not your neighbour, or your friends, or your gran (although I’m sure you love her very much), just focusing on you.
I haven’t done any of that until probably about August when it finally clicked! I started focusing on myself, on my own needs and what needed to be met for my own well-being and happiness to be at its ultimate level. And I got it half right.
I learnt that I need to continue to focus more on my inner needs that stimulate me emotionally, as I’ve only focused on the mental side of my well-being.
I’ve learnt that need to have more love and respect for myself the same way I do for those I help.
I’ve learnt that blogging, singing, songwriting, and being all-round creative helps me express my feeling and helps me emotionally. Which is my way of self love because it focuses on me.
For 2019 I’m going to read more. Not just to increase my knowledge, but when I was younger reading always relaxed me and made me feel better. So I decided to make a reading list (hope I stick to it).
For 2019 the books I’ll be reading for pleasure are books written by coloured women. I’ll also be reading self help books because it’s always nice to know new techniques on how to help yourself, which is what I need.
But resolutions don’t need to start in January. I’ve already bought my two books I’m going to read. And I’m super excited to start reading them.
Also, I’m going to take better care of myself. Eat better, drink more water, because during self destruct mode I’ve gained a really unhealthy relationship with Coka-Cola, and I want to work out. I want to do skincare routines like those other people.
Oh and yoga! I already love doing yoga but going it more consistently is a must.
Self love for me is for me to open up to myself more. To respect and love myself before I help others. As a wise person once told me
Having self love is selfless, because how can you bring someone up when you can’t even bring yourself up?
So that’s what I’m going to do to show myself some love. What are you gunna do?
Whatever you do just remember to
love and respect yourself the same way you do to others.
Stay tuned for day 3!!
That’s all she wrote …
F A R I E L L E. N