Solo Travels: Day 1- København (Copenhagen)

Hej.

That means hello in Danish, according to Google Translate, haha. Can you tell I’m having a good time?

So this morning was a semi lazy one. I was out of bed by about 8:30am after I forced myself back to sleep because I was so used to waking up at 5am.

Anyway!! I did some more exploring around where I am staying and then left for breakfast at a restaurant not too far from where I was staying, and boy was that a feast!

They first brought me some tea in a nice glass which was cute and then out came this platter with a lot of food on it, a basket full of fresh seeded bread and another platter with bowls that had been covered.

And this is what was hiding in those covered bowls. Salami and a fried egg. It’s so cute. I tried this dish called su börk, (a Turkish dish) basically pastry with different types of cheese inside and it was really nice! There was a lot of things and I finished pretty much everything.

Also I am totally convinced that fruit helps you eat more food because normally I would not be able to eat as much as I did especially since I wasn’t that hungry.

Anywho, after breakfast I did a mini shop and tried to get used to the money and coins they have here, I think I’m getting the hang of it.

Once I was finished there I went to do a little sightseeing. I think I picked the best place to stay because it is literally central to everything and all the external places I need to get to are very accessible.

Everywhere I went I was just surprised as to how pretty everything was. A turn the corner and there were more things to say wow to.

When I finished sightseeing I came back ‘home’ [mainly because my phone crashed and decided to jump from 75% to 1%. Good thing I brought my disposables with me].

I read a book I’ve just started to read, Everything Here is Beautiful, as part of my resolution to get back into reading. I figured I would do something whilst charging my phone before the next activity …

I went to a place in Rofshalevej called CopenHot. It’s a sauna and hot tub place by the sea which was really fun.

At first I was freaked out because it was in a dodgy looking industrial place with little lighting and I was alone but I got there and there’s jazz playing, a disco ball, the sea and two little Bon fires. It was so nice.

We were all told what we could do and that the water was recycled from the sea and it was great. There was a nice view, I mean it was dark but it was still nice just wish I came during the day or sunset.

After that I went to McDonald’s, because I really wasn’t that hungry and was too cold and tired to look for a new place to eat, I brought it home to eat in the restaurant area.

And now I’m here, all showered and ready for bed.

This was my day 1, can’t wait for tomorrow.

Until next time loves,

That’s all she wrote

F A R I E L L E. N

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Day 12: Fear … less

Happy New Years you all!! ❤️🥳✨

I hope you’ve all entered the New Year with better intentions, more exciting plans and a positive attitude.

I know I have.

This has been an eventful series, might do more of these.

I enjoyed sharing and seeing what you guys thought about them.

After all that has been written in this series they were all leading to this. The real inspiration for this series.

I had enough of overthinking everything and missing out, enough of being in the same position constantly. All of the things that I spoke about were based on fears.

One most potent fear was never being enough.. for others.

I was always trying to do my best for other people, barely ever myself until this year when I had enough of that stupid mentality I have!

For 2019 I am going to fear less, and do what I want to do because I want to do it!

For 2019 I want us all to fear less and be our wonderful selves without worrying what other people are going to think about you. It’s not about them.

It’s all about you!

Go live that life of yours to the fullest!

And this concludes my 12 Days of New Years Resolutions! I honestly had so much fun writing them.

I pray for everything wonderful to come your way this year, good luck on all of your future endeavours. I love you all!!

That’s all she wrote

F A R I E L L E N.

Day 10: Something New

I really didn’t know what to write for this one but I had it on my list for this series so it honestly will be a few words of wisdom … I hope.

Throughout the years I feel like I have done the same thing over and over again. You know what I mean?

Like the situation and the people may be different but it’s the same scenarios all over again.

I feel like with all the blogs written under this series were all based on doing something new, which is what the New Years is about.

Starting afresh.

And I know a lot of people are calling bull because everyone always says ‘New Year, new me’ every year and do not change, but there are people who have changed, you just don’t know them.

So you set that resolution and you start doing something new but remember ..

New day, new you

Don’t rely on when the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Day for you to create something new for you to do, or for you to become.

Everyday is a learning curve and everyday is an opportunity for us to start again and become new people.

Like I said, you don’t know if today is your last, so learn from your past (ooh, bars!)

Live everyday like it’s your last, but also live for the future. Find the balance between the two and live your life!

That is literally all she wrote

F A R I E L L E N.

Day 9: Stop. Breathe. Think

Inhale.

Exhale.

You ever stress so much that you just can’t breathe sometimes?

Like you can’t find your keys and you’re late for work, so you’re running around the house trying to find your keys in a hurry and you’re panicking to the point you get super frustrated and feel like the day is ruined and all of these thoughts are just running through your head and you can’t seem to stop them?!!

When these situations occur, the blood boiling, shorter breath, kind of situations you need to realise that this is how you’re feeling and react in a positive way.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

Something I find helps me a lot because I’m a natural stress head.

It’s not good for your health to be frustrated constantly, it’s bad for your heart, your blood pressure, all sorts!

These are the things I like to do when I’m angry, frustrated, bloods boiling and my breath is near enough to nonexistent:

Move away from the situation! That could be leaving the room to go elsewhere, if it’s someone, or something in that room, that’s making you feel that way, or leaving the library if it’s an assignment. Or even going on a bathroom or tea/coffee break if you’re at work. (If you’re allowed to do that).

That being said if it is someone who made you mad, go cool off elsewhere then come back when you’re not heated and talk about the situation. Not in a way that will make everything heated again though, because you’re just playing yourself. Just make sure the problem is 100% solved.

Don’t want to think everything is fine when you’re actually angry deep down.

Go for a walk! I love going for walks in general, it’s good exercise and the fresh air is great especially when you’re feeling negative emotions. But if you can go somewhere with great scenery. Makes you appreciate life a bit more.

For example, I live not too far from a country park, sometimes I go and walk around there, or for photography of the nature there, or feed the ducks (yes I’m that person [also don’t feed ducks bread please, you are killing them. Feed them wheat/corn/oats instead, it’s healthier for them, thanks]).

This just takes your mind off the situation that made you angry and you calm down.

Count to 10! Inhale … exhale .. 1 … repeat. That’s how you should count. Again because your concentrating on your breathing and the counting, you don’t have time to think about what you were mad about anymore.

Listen to calming music! For me it helps sometimes. I think instrumentals helps a little bit more than songs with lyrics because sometimes they can reflect how you’re feeling and just make you feel worse. Or sometimes you just want to think but can’t concentrate before of the words.

Do yoga! If you can. Don’t get angry and start doing yoga in a Costa or Starbucks, although Starbucks might love it, it’s probably best to do it in the right environment. But yoga is so calming, not gonna lie. Feel like a whole new person after yoga.

Plus you spend about 20 minutes trying to figure out how to do some next poses your body may not be used to, you’re not even angry anymore.

And lastly…

Just breathe. I have a few meditation apps (exploring which ones best for me) and it’s all about controlling your breathing, thinking about your breathing and calming yourself.

It’s similar to the counting but you have someone talking in the background with a calming voice, every so often.

I always feel better after meditation. Like a weight has been lifted, once my eyes reopen.

This went from resolutions for me that you could also use, to self-help guides, haha!

Anyway, I hope you’re all getting something from this series so far.

With that being said,

That’s all she wrote

F A R I E L L E. N

Day 8: Be The Perfect Wife

A cook. A cleaner. And a Sex Symbol. These are the ingredients chosen to create the perfect wife …

Just kidding.

Now that I’ve got your attention …

I’ve been on this earth for like what? 22 years. And since I can remember being in love, finding the one, having a great job, getting married and having kids, has always been the goal for women.

So through watching all these movies telling us that being the perfect wife is a goal, TV shows giving advice on finding the one, with marriage and kids being the end goal, sometimes us women can focus more on how to be this ‘perfect wife’ for a man we may not have even met yet.

Which leads to us spending less time perfecting ourselves, for the person we’ve known since the day we came into this world.

Ourselves.

Not only do we see this on our tv’s, social media and the internet, we hear it in church.

I was talking to a friend of mine about this whole thing. We spoke about how in churches the topic of marriage is spoken about more than being single.

I understand the benefits of marriage, what it can bring, both the growth and struggles, it’s spoken about often enough that I feel like I could write an assignment on it.

I’m not against marriage, I actually do want to get married in the future but it’s not my focus right now. My focus is my singleness.

But it’s all

Loving God, living for God, being good with money and marriage.

Can we just have a discussion about

Loving God, living for God, being good with money, being single and enjoying it, a bit more instead of talking about how to reach marriage?

What’s the point of having more conversations about marriage when majority, if not all of us, are single?

And what if there are people who don’t want to get married at all?

Why is singleness still a taboo? Why are we trying to be the perfect wife for someone else?

I think that we should try to become the perfect wife for ourselves.

Become the best version of yourself, for yourself.

Not for the random Joe you’re not even dating yet.

And in turn the right person will come eventually, but don’t even focus on who’s coming. Think about what you want and like because you’re here right now. Til death do you part.

You’re currently in one of the best times of your life!

You’re young. You’re single. You are free!!

You don’t have to consult anyone, but your job, when you’re going on holiday!

You don’t have to ask if the holiday is good for you and another party. It’s just you right now.

You don’t have to think about who’s going to babysit the little one when you’re going out for dinner for a few hours.

Do what you want to do, when you want to do it. No one is stopping you but yourself.

You should be living your best life!!

You’ve always wanted to go Paris? No one wants to/can come? Go man!! Do it alone.

You’ve always wanted to teach English in another country? Go do it!

You’ve always wanted to live in a different country for a year? My love, the world is literally your oyster,

carpe mundo sanguinum, babe!

(Seize the bloody world).

Take this from me.

You are your own best friend, learn to love yourself and be the perfect person for yourself because at the end of the day, all you have is yourself.

From the words of Jeannie Mai, myself and my friend

There is no one, you are the one.

And that’s all she wrote.

F A R I E L L E. N

Day 7: Treat Yo’ Self!

When I first moved out of my parents house I was so unbelievably broke I only spent £11 a week on ready meals, 49p on cordial (the drink you mix with water), I couldn’t pay half [any] of my bills (sometimes including gas and electric) and I did not buy anything extra for myself.

I could have easily asked my parents for money but I wanted to do things myself. So after those long 4 months of suffering with no money, not even student finance (SFE) and a 4hr a week contracted job that paid next to nothing, I promised myself I’d be more careful with money.

I’ll plan ahead. I’ll set a proper budget and I’ll start to plan where my money for the month is going to go. Which I did and haven’t stopped doing.

When I got my SFE, I paid for all of my bills 4 months in advance, just in time for my next SFE payment, and I became careful with where my money went.

A bit too careful.

I didn’t treat myself to anything I wanted. It was all “when I get enough money” but I have ‘enough’ money, with more than just a little extra but I got into the mindset of hoarding my money.

Look, I’m not saying that saving or being careful with money is a bad thing. It’s actually very rational, but not only do you spend wisely you also need to treat yourself in the process. Buy something that makes you feel good about yourself not just your situation.

By that I mean, paying for your bills on time and not having to worry about them until the next payment, makes you feel good about your situation.

Buying a nice dress, or watch, makes you feel good about yourself.

It’s part of self care in my eyes because you’re giving yourself something you want, even if it’s temporary happiness.

Hmm.. maybe it’s not temporary happiness, if those things are going to last for a long time.

For example, I bought a really expensive coat.

  1. Because I needed a good, warm coat for the winter
  2. It looked really good. A reversible coat!

I thought killing two birds with one stone. Anyway every time I open my shoes and coat cupboard it makes me a little bit happier to see it because I think “yeah I bought that. And when I wanna go somewhere fancy I can just turn it into a fur coat. Yup this was worth it”.

So here are the lessons for you. Because I’ve already learnt mine. ***Students.

Lessons:

***Use your SFE to pay off all of the bills until you next payment. This way you can enjoy your money without worrying about the bill for the next 3-4 months. PLUS it helps in summer if you’re staying in the same place.

Don’t hoard all your money. It’s technically not even yours anyway. And it’s not the governments either. What I’m saying is when you die you’re not taking it with you so why hoard? Enjoy your money. Enjoy your life. You don’t know what day if going to be your last.

Set a monthly budget. Get a book that’ll help you calculate your bills or make your own. Write all the things you need to pay, even the subscriptions, and calculate how much you’ll have left for yourself.

Don’t enjoy recklessly. If you know you don’t have this money you want tot spend, don’t do it! You’ll spend it and instead of happiness you’ll feel regret because not it’s like “if you didn’t buy this I could have paid for that”. Saves you from feeling like crap until your next payment.

Find money goes quicker when it’s in your account? Take the money out and use cash only! This works better because you can actually physically see your money disappearing whereas with a card you just tap it and pray to God it doesn’t get declined when you feel like you’ve used a lot of money. Take out a lump-some and only take £20 or so out with you. It’ll last.

Don’t let money get you down. Like I just mentioned, money can make us feel two emotions. Happiness. Depressed. Don’t let it get you depressed. Stay on top of the things you need to pay for. If you can avoid it don’t borrow too much money that, in the moment, you don’t know how to pay back.

Self-love!! Buy something that makes you happy once a month. A new dress. Get your nails did. Buy yourself a new wig. Even get a massage, we all need one of those at least once a month. But don’t overspend.

BUT!!!!

In the mist of treating yo’ self. Don’t forget to save. Set aside an amount you know you can give monthly to your savings.

It doesn’t need to be for anything in particular, just save.

You don’t know when you’re going to need that emergency money.

Resolution:

In 2019. I want to save more but still have enough to buy a few things for myself here and there.

I believe it’s possible to be a semi hoarder of your money but still indulge yourself in a few things that you want once in a while, when reasonable.

You’ll all find your own balance of spending wisely, saving and enjoying your money. I have.

And that’s all she wrote, kids.

F A R I E L L E. N

Day 3: Identity Crisis

I’m 22. And it’s normal for me to sometimes question who I am, what makes me happy and what I really want to do.

I went through this weird identity crisis around this time last year, but due to being too busy to notice why I constantly felt drained and down, it only dawned on me when everything had died down.

During this time I was going through an identity crisis, as you do in your early 20’s, and I tried to find myself again not knowing I was putting my everything into everyone, and not having enough of ‘me’ for myself (go back and read Self Love blog).

I had to find myself any way that felt like me ‘doing what I wanted to do’ because I thought that this was me knowing who I was.

I’ll tell you it’s, been hard because I really didn’t know exactly how to get out of it and I thought I was going crazy. I though “people don’t go through these crisis until their in the 40’s, why me? Why now??”

So obviously, if you know me you know I like learning and researching when I have questions, (the psychology degree is making more sense now). So I googled!

Apparently it’s a thing, but not until the age of 25 years of age. The questions/statements I read on Independent correlated with what I was feeling.

What is my purpose? And how the hell do I figure that out?!! I want to explore the world but I need a good paying job and get my career going! What the hell do I do???

God gave us a purpose but doesn’t mean we immediately know what it is or how to get there. We have to do some major soul searching!

So after a lot of praying, conversations with a few people and a lot of googling, I was walking to the bus stop after doing an overnight shift when it randomly dawned on me what I really wanted to do. “Well it’s about bloody time”

Obviously I still have to figure out how to get there, how to travel and still have a good paying job, which now saying it out loud seems near enough impossible, but anything is possible.

Lesson:

Through this I learnt that … I’m boring. I had no hobbies! It was church, work, uni, work, church, maybe a hang out here or there and the cycle continued. I didn’t really have a life.

I learnt that because my life was boring with no hobbies, I waiting on peoples hobbies or for people to come and do things with me, but we all know that most of the time that means it never happens.

I learnt I need to grab life by the balls and go for things I want to do if people can come or not. Sometimes I don’t need to ask if anyone wants to ‘come with’ on my next venture.

Resolutions:

For 2019, I did come up with these myself but I also saw it on a Forbes article online. Here are the three that I feel like resonate with me.

Be creative! I’ve already mentioned how I’d be doing that on the day 2: self love.

To stop pleasing others! I don’t need to get validation from others to feel like I’m doing something right. What I need to realise is the life I have within myself and not look for it in others. Hence the ‘go for things I want to do’. I’d put that in the lessons section too.

Trying new things! The other month I went dancing! I enjoyed it so much but with uni I haven’t been able to go back but I do plan on continuing. I already have a list of things I want to try doing which makes 2019 even more exciting!!

So far this whole 12 days thing is going well. I’m enjoying sharing, I just hope people are finding some sort of relatability what I’ve written.

Until the next blog mates…

That’s all she wrote …

F A R I E L L E. N