It’s Ok

‘Sup you lot!

This week was Mental Health Awareness Week, so I thought I’d speak on getting to a place where you can be open with your feelings. Not just with people, but with God and yourself.

I wanted to write this post for people who are sensitive like me, people who feel like their sensitivity is a major weakness that they keep their emotions to themselves, too afraid of being called too sensitive that they hide a lot of themselves.

I wrote it to uplift those who have been branded as too sensitive, so that they can see the positives in their sensitivity because we all know that holding in our emotions can be so detrimental to ourselves, which is not good for our mental health at all.

So I hope you can gain confidence in this post by seeing the positives and know that God is a God of all things, including sensitivity.

Last week, I started to feel a little bit low and I wasn’t really sure as to what it was that got me down.

Now for me, unfortunately, I haven’t been able to be completely open regarding my feelings with myself and sometimes others, which people may find weird because I’m also the most open person. I’m an oddball I guess.

When I was growing up I was super sensitive, I’m still sensitive today just not as much, and people used to always think and see me as the ‘sensitive one’. I was called a crybaby and too soft and this stuck with me and continued to play around in my head.

One day when I was 14 years ago, during my depression, I was in my music class and one of the boys in my class said something, I don’t remember what exactly, and one of my friends at the time replied with “don’t say that you’ll just make her cry again” and everyone, including my friend, started laughing.

I was so embarrassed but I held everything together and decided to go home early, without waiting for my friends. As I got off the bus I let it all out and cried as I walked home, using the alleyways so I didn’t bump into anyone. I started praying to God “why didn’t you make me this way? I don’t understand, why didn’t you make me strong? Why did you make me weak?”

When I finally got home, no one was home so I went straight into my bedroom, changed into my pyjamas, closed the blinds, got into bed and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. Once I had stopped crying I made a vow to myself that I will never cry again.

Ever since then I have had trouble with actually knowing how I feel and managing my feelings. Sometimes we make promises with ourselves that are detrimental to growing our relationship with God. These promises put a barrier in between us and God because they’re not from God. Some people know them as unholy covenants or unholy promises.

I know that sometimes it’s hard to be open, trust me, but sometimes in order for us to be better, in order for God to help us overcome thing and be better, we have to let our guard down and be vulnerable.

God made me to have feelings, and yes being sensitive can be a negative but it can also be a positive.

I’ve googled and found many positives of being highly sensitive. Here are my top 3 for you:

1. You’re highly considerate.

2. You have high levels of empathy and you’re deeply moved by other people’s emotions.

3. You experience positive emotions more deeply.

Being sensitive is not a bad thing. You don’t need to fight your feelings, you don’t have hide your emotions away. It’s ok to admit you’re not ok. It’s ok to have feelings. It’s ok to feel down and out, and not know why. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok.

I had to say that to myself the other week. I’m so adamant that I don’t have to cry and I’m ok, but all I’m doing is putting a big mask and hiding myself from God who’s probably looking down at me like “you’re clearly not ok and you know that I know this. So come to me and lay it at my feet.”

Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

– Matthew 11:28 (ESV)

I had to admit to myself that I was not ok, cry it out and pray to God about what I was feeling in that moment.

I know it’s ok to cry because even Jesus cried.

Jesus wept.

John 11:35

Jesus, the Son of God, who has healed many, who was a great leader, also cried. Feelings come from God. If we didn’t have feelings we would be emotionless robots, which is not from God, which would mean we were not made in his image.

If you need to cry out to God, then do it! He will hear you.

The righteous call to God and he listens; he rescues them from their troubles.

Psalms 34:17

Instead of making unholy promises that will create a barrier with God we should cry out to him, in our most deepest, darkest and saddest times. He is listening always.

It’s ok to have raw prayers with God when you’re literally in bits and you’re just asking why. The same way you can be honest with friends, is how you should be honest with God in all areas.

Moses prayed earnestly to the Lord and said “What can I do with these people? They are almost ready to stone me?”

Exodus 17:4 (GNB)

In all his frustration Moses cried out to God. It’s ok to speak to God through all the frustration you’re feeling.

We know God has feelings. God showed love, anger, disappointment, compassion, joy, just to name a few. So don’t condemn yourself if you’re ‘too sensitive’, see the positives in it.

Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, “How can I help?”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭15:1-2‬ ‭(MSG‬)

Take this passage and apply it with your high levels of empathy. Your sensitive can be more of a strength than you know.

I hope you’ve been able to find some sort of confidence boost within this post.

Remember always be open. Don’t let anyone say that you’re too sensitive without remembering the positives that come from being highly sensitive. Remember it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to admit that you’re not ok.

God is listening and he’s always around, it’s up to you as to how open and vulnerable you want to be towards Him.

Stay blessed, stay safe

That’s all she wrote …

Music into My Ears: The List

Hiiii!

Welcome back.

Right so, like I said I would, this post is about artists I listen to. I’ve put a small description about them, my favourite song and a recommended album to get you started.

This is not necessarily my Top 10 because my favourites change pretty much every week, if not everyday.

So let’s get right to it.

Here is a list of 10 Christian and gospel artists that I love. In no particular order of course:

1. Hollyn

Hollyn is a Contemporary Christian (R&B, pop) singer who I love! One of my favourite female artists.

I’ve been listening to Hollyn since the beginning of my Christian walk. I love how she writes her songs, how open they are about her struggles and triumphs.

Favourite song; I have many but Isaac is the one Ive playing first at the moment.

Recommended album; Hollyn (EP) but I also recommend One Way Conversations

One thing I love about her EP’s/Album there’s a mixture of songs, in terms of genre.

PICTURE!

2. Gawvi

Gawvi is a Christian electro-pop artist. He raps as well as sings, and his new album is FIRE! Every single song on that album for me is just so 👌🏾. I would definitely recommend Gawvi.

I’ve only just started listening in January. My friend played his song Fight for Me (ft Lecrae) from his PANORAMA album and since then I’ve been listening to him. I know it says he’s an electro-pop artist but this album is a mixture of trap, 90’s pop, rap

Favourite song; Girl. That has to be my favourite song at the moment.

Recommended album; Heathen. Which is his new album, where you can also find Girl (Track 7). Listen to us honestly.

I love Gawvi’s rhyming ability, and how he can take the bible and create a lyrical metaphor. Like he says in … “this is my version of psalms”.

3. Wande

Wande is a Christian rapper, not only that but her instagram and TikTok always entertain me.

Accidentally found Wande when looking at Gawvi’s page on Apple Music. One of the best musical finds I’ve made to be honest.

Favourite Song; WAKANDE. Bro, the beat is just too much! And I love the fact that she incorporates her Nigerian heritage by speaking her native language, Yoruba, at the beginning of the song.

Recommended Album; As I’ve only just found Wande a few months ago and I haven’t really gone through her previous albums, I’m going to recommend her newest album EXIT.

Wande = lyrical genius. I really love when rappers are just lyrical. Another thing I love is the fact that she doesn’t shy away from her African heritage, incorporating Yoruba into her songs, telling a brief background story as to when she moved to America from Nigeria. As an African myself it does make me happy, as growing up it wasn’t really seen much.

4. Limoblaze

Limoblaze is an Afrobeats artist from Nigeria.

Another accidental find when I was doing some house cleaning last month. His songs got me dancing whilst mopping, got me in the best mood that day!

Favourite Song; Your Love (ft DJ Horphuray). “I know I don’t deserve it, your love is so overwhelming”. Love the beat to this song.

Recommended Album; Afrobeats, Rap and Jesus. I haven’t managed to listen to previous albums/EP’s yet but I really do like this one.

5. V. Rose

V. Rose is a Christian and Gospel pop artist, although she does dabble in trap.

I found V. Rose when looking for more female artists because at that time I only had male artists and Hollyn, I was just missing more female vocals in my playlist.

Favourite Song; Take a Broken Heart (ft Derek Minor). The first song in her Young Dangerous Heart album, it caught me off guard and it’s always the first song I play when I want to listen to her music.

Recommended Album; Forth. This is her newest album, released 2019, and boyyyy! I love it. Maybe because it’s the newest but the songs, the lyrics, the rapping (oh yeah, she raps too), it’s just really good. I don’t really remember her rapping in her previous albums, might have to take another listen, but I was shook and I loved it.

Some of V. Rose’s songs can be girly at times but I love it because it can speak to areas in my life that are just ‘girl problems’ (love, heartbreak and all that jazz) but she also speaks the truth in all of her songs.

Second Fav Song; I Surrender. I had to add a second song. This song is from her Forth album (Track 2) and I love how she incorporates a song most of us will know which made me feel like I immediately knew the song.

6. nobigdyl.

nobigdyl. is a Christian rapper, who’s style is described as ‘mellow’, but regardless, still bangs.

I first found nobigdyl. when I was making a playlist for my friends barbershop opening a few years ago (shout out to PH Barbers; if you’re ever in Bolton and need a trim, check them out). I knew the playlist I currently had wouldn’t fit the aesthetic they were going. Found nobigdyl. and the whole Tribe on The Move gang.

Favourite Song: Morning. Such a raw song. This song is about how he was before he got saved and how God came into his life and I love how honest and raw it is. “I said Jesus where you is, you ain’t come back by this times … so I did all that I could”. I mean isn’t this how we were all thinking before we became saved?!

Recommended Album: this was hard for me to choose because I have two but I think I’ll stick to Canopy as my recommended choice, although SOLAR is also good.

nobigdyl. is another lyrical genius. I’m sorry, I might say this about a lot of them, but guy fully said “Looking at the pictures at the cornerstone, backed into the corner by the Cornerstone”. If I was to pick my favourite lyric from nobigdyl. it’ll be that one. Gets me every time.

7. Koryn Hawthorne

Koryn Hawthorne is a singer who’s voice is so soulful and smooth, yet powerful. She’s also a minister’s daughter.

When on the look for more female artists I found Koryn’s Won’t He Do It (Remix) and she continues to remain one of my favourite artists in the Christian and Gospel industry.

Favourite Song; You Still Love Me. Another song that’s very truthful and open about the struggles we can go through but God still loves me.

Recommended Album; Unstoppable. This is currently her only album to date, which has songs from her self-titled EP included in it. This album has a range of genre, including rock, which is what I love about it. I love the variety, it’s as if there’s a song for everyone.

Koryn’s voice is what made me fall in love with her music, as well as how her sings made me feel. Want to just have fun or be in worship and I love that.

8. Jor’dan Armstrong

Jor’dan Armstrong is an R&B gospel singer and his songs all bang!

Jor’dan was one of the first artists I found when I started looking for Christian and gospel songs that appealed to me and I remember just downloading his whole album.

Favourite Song; Light Up (Litty). Such a vibe this song, I swear! Gets me dancing every time.

Recommended Album; Vibes. Just like the title, this album is just a vibe, keeps me in high spirits every time I listen to it.

*Fun Fact; it’s the first album I play when I’m about to start cooking :).

9. Riley Clemmons

Riley Clemmons’ music is mostly in pop and R&B genre.

Riley is a recent-ish find when I was listening to a Christian playlist on Apple Music and I heard her song Broken Prayer. Due to the season I was in when listening to this song, it really spoke to me and continues to do so now.

Favourite Song; Fighting for Me. A new favourite of hers, a reminder that God’s fight for me never ends, it’s continuous. A great song to listen to during hard times.

Recommended Album: Riley Clemmons. I haven’t really listened to her whole album yet, it’s on my list of artists to listen to, but I’m sure it’s a good’un.

10. CalledOut Music

CalledOut Music is a Nigerian born musician from the U.K. who dabbles mostly in Afro-gospel and acoustic sounds.

I actually don’t remember how I found CalledOut Music it must have been a really random find if I don’t remember.

Favourite Song: I Am Free. This song is a song that just makes me bop, don’t think I can ever sit still and listen to this song. I have to be up or moving in my seat.

Recommended Album: when I was looking at his profile on Apple Music I realised he has just released a new album, Portraits, which is exciting. I’m looking forward to listening to it!

So there you have it, my Top 10 list of Christian and Gospel artists.

I hope you can find songs that you like in these artists and also I hope they can lead you to find more, the same way they have led me to others.

Stay safe, stay blessed

That’s all she wrote …

Music into My Ears

Hey gang!

Hope you guys have had a great week, excluding these circumstances we’re currently in.

I’m so excited to write this blog because it’s one of my favourite things on this earth.

Music!

My parents told me that when I was a newborn I was always crying because I was born in the peak of the summer in London and I couldn’t take the heat. To get some quiet, especially for new parents who had no clue, they would play some music, leave the room for 10 minutes, and I would stop crying.

Even when I used to help my mum around the house on Saturday mornings, if she wasn’t playing some sort of gospel music through the CD player I was creating my own tunes and songs. As I grew older, I started to write them down in my song book and gave myself a stage name.

Kristy Brown. I was obsessed with Chris Brown at the time and wanted to be his sister, don’t judge me, I was only 12/13 at the time.

It’s been a very exciting month for gospel/Christian music. So many groups, artists and bands, have released singles, EP’s, albums, and I have been delightfully overwhelmed by it all.

I just wanted to quickly speak about what we take in, which is why I titled this post “Music INTO my ears”.

As Christians we have to be wary of what we take in. Conversations, music, tv shows, and other things. It’s important because what we take in through your eyes and our ears, can affect us in ways that we don’t even realise.

We all know that words can be powerful right?

Death and life are in the tongue, and those who love it will eat it’s fruit

-Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV)

Which is basically saying that we have learn to get along with our tongue, be able to speak words that are of encouragement, praise and love. But if we speak words of negativity we will have to accept the consequences that come with it.

It’s the same with music. Listen to music with words that are encouraging, fulfilling you spiritually, you will eat from its fruits, because it’s one way of helping you with your walk with God because you’re guarding your heart by protecting your ears.

But listening to secular music will derail you from God, your salvation, and can lead you down the road of giving in to your temptations and backsliding.

I’m not saying that I listen to gospel/Christian only, but I know that because I’m thriving to be stronger in my faith, I’m not reckless with what I listen to. And if you listen to secular music, you know how hard it is to find a song that doesn’t have profound words. And when you do find one with no swearing, it’s hard finding one with no subliminal references to sex, drugs, alcohol and the likes.

So my secular music list is very limited to very particular songs. Which is why I’m so grateful for Christian music. The way it’s expanded to different genres is so great.

When I was younger I didn’t know about gospel rap or pop. Certain churches and older Christians will say “that music is demonic. It’s not Christian music because it doesn’t sound like the one we sing at out church” but my argument to that is

Why isn’t your praise and worship only limited to harps and organs as they are the very first instruments to be invented by Jubal? (See Genesis 4:21)

If God was not a God of creativity, you would not have Hillsong Worship, United or otherwise. There wouldn’t be Elevation Worship or even Kirk Franklin.

We have to stop limiting God. Especially when it comes to music.

For me, if I didn’t find out about the likes of Hollyn, Trip Lee or nobigdyl. I would still be listening to the worse secular music on the daily, because I’m not always in the mood for your typical worship songs.

If I didn’t branch out to find Christian artists by myself, I would not be filled with Godly thoughts or be moving towards a more Godly lifestyle because the music going into my ears would be about sex outside of marriage, drugs and be full of profanity.

Also, people who limit God in the area of music don’t know the history of the gospel/Christian music they listen to.

Let’s look at the ones I mentioned. Elevation worship for example. Pastor Steven Furtick and Chris Brown (not the R&B singer) were into rock during their younger years, got saved and thought “how can I incorporate my love for this genre with my love for God?” And BOOM! They are now one of the biggest gospel worship groups in the Christian Rock genre.

Hillsong United/Worship = Christian Rock

Hillsong Young and Free = Christian Synth-Pop

Kirk Franklin does r&b, hip-hop, the genres most churches tell us to stay away from, as well as the typical gospel genre. As do Mary Mary, and the list is endless.

Why am I writing this post? Because I want you all to know that you can still enjoy your genre once saved but in a way that’s not putting your salvation at risk! And actually enjoy music and not feel limited to just typical worship, because our God is not limited.

Although, I still do listen out to the words that are used because sometimes there are some artists that are Christian but sing worldly songs.

So my advice when it’s your first time looking for Christian artists outside of the genre of gospel or worship music:

1. ALWAYS LISTEN TO THE WHOLE ALBUM

You might listen to one song and dismiss the whole album and miss a gem! I always listen to songs between 0:30-1:00 minute before dismissing the song completely.

2. ALWAYS LISTEN TO THE WORDS

Make sure they are actually Christian songs and are glorifying God. I know a lot of people aren’t always sure because sometimes they don’t say God or Jesus but you can always tell because they’ll use some way to connect it to the bible, God, Jesus or The Holy Spirit. But if you are unsure just leave it or scope out their socials and see if they’re truly living for God.

3. MAKE A PLAYLIST FOR JUST CHRISTIAN SONGS

If this is the first time you are listening to Christian music and you’ve not 100% stopped listening to secular music, I would suggest making a playlist. That way you won’t be in the middle of enjoying songs about God and the next minute it’s a song that isn’t nourishing for the soul.

4. SHARE WHAT YOU’VE FOUND

Always share the music! You don’t know which of your friends are also struggling to find Christian music that they like, if you share what you’ve found they may be able to find what they like through your recommended artists.

A friend introduced me to Hollyn and from Hollyn I found V. Rose. Then she introduced me to Trip Lee and from him I found nobigdyl. and other artists.

With that being said, let’s be mindful of the music that we put into our ears. It’s already hard as it is to be saved and you’re not making it easier if one of your windows to your soul is taking in unGodly things.

I know my triggers. I know the music I have to stay away from and what kind of songs I have run from. Do you know yours? Will you be obedient when listening to a song, feel a trigger and hear that voice of conviction that’ll say “you need to let that go”?

Have a think about that.

Don’t think I’m going to be leaving you without giving more suggestions of artists.

The next post I’ll be sharing my Top 10 gospel/Christian artists, bands and worship groups. Including some that I’ve fallen in love with again and the new releases of this month.

Also, I will be working on making a Spotify playlist for those without Apply Music. If you do have Apple Music click on the link below and it’ll take you to my own personal playlist, which I update as often as I can. I don’t mind sharing with you guys :).

Christian 🙌🏾🙏🏾

Stay safe, stay blessed

That’s all she wrote …

In This Season

Hey guys,

Hope everyone’s been doing well.

I know, I know, I didn’t post last week. I was so focused on little meaningless things that I lost focus on the blog and its purpose, but I’m back on track with a new blog post today.

I had this subject on hold for a few weeks now because, if I’m being completely honest, I was getting a little bit frustrated with not knowing what God’s plan for my life is!

I felt like I couldn’t write about the topic of God’s plan because I don’t even know what’s going on, but it didn’t matter what I was doing God found a way to remind me. Through scriptures on my Instagram, friends talking about it, YouTube videos on my recommended, you name it.

So I thought I might as well stop focusing on everything else and focus on obeying God and getting this out to you guys.

I had this whole plan of going to uni and doing exactly what I needed to do to get to my dream career. My plan was a little bit long but I knew if I had patience and kept trusting God everything would be great!

However, down the line my feelings towards the plans I had created at 18 years old became a bit shaky and I wasn’t sure if what I had set as my dream career, for the past 4 years, was what I still wanted to do.

For the past 6 months I have felt frustrated with where I am. Even though I kept trying to rely on God, be faithful to him and whatever it is he has in store of me, it’s been so hard especially because I have no clue what is going on!

And you know what we normally do when we feel like we’ve been faithful, but it’s radio silence. We don’t feel like praying so it becomes inconsistent or you stop praying all together.

Or maybe you start wondering “what have I done wrong? Am I lacking in my worship for God? What do I need to add to my life for God to respond to me?”

But something we need to be reminded of is

TO EVERYTHING there is a season

– Ecclesiastes 3:1 (AMPC)

This is a season! And like every season we have every year, it will change! Winters are all cold and gloomy, then comes spring when things start to brighten up and later summer! The season where everyone is a bit happier because the sun is out.

After finally deciding to stop procrastinating, stop dwelling on something I couldn’t control, to stop focusing on things that did not matter today, I decided to turn my focus back to God. Back to my relationship with him, what he says about me and share with you what is on my heart.

So let’s get into it.

Here are some things you should do when you feel unsure about what God has in store for you.

1. KEEP ON PRAYING

Keep at it! Honestly, as much as we don’t feel like praying, we have to keep going. I made a mistake of not praying the last time I was in a rut and it took me down the wrong path. Made it hard to get back to where I was supposed to be.

So keep praying, he’s still listening. Plus prayer is key to keeping your relationship with God strong.

2. STAY CONTENT

I was watching a Heather Lindsey video, Why I Went on a Man Fast, and she said something that really started to make me think.

If you never got what you desired, whether it be marriage, career, children, would you still be content with JUST God?

If the answer is no, then you’ve got some major re-evaluation to do.

Things, marriage, career, children, they all come and go. They are so fragile in terms of here one day, gone the next. So why rely or focus solely on things that can depart just as easy as breath leaves the body?

They are like a breath; their days are like a fleeting shadow

Psalm 144:4 (NIV)

And this leads me on to the next thing I learnt from another Heather Lindsey video, Discovering Your Purpose.

3. KNOW THAT YOUR IDENTITY IS IN CHRIST

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it

– 1 Corinthians 12:27 (NIV)

The things that you desire did not make you, they are not your creator. The only way you can find out what you were put on this earth to do is through God, who created you.

My church did a study on purpose earlier this year and I was reminded by a statement that was written when re-reading it this week.

If I was to give you an invention, you wouldn’t know what to do with it. You would have to go to the creator and ask them what its purpose is.

You (the invention) has to go to the creator (God) to ask him what you were created for.

And how do you do that?

Simple.

Go back to step one.

Pray and keep praying, and listen out for God’s voice. God will answer you when this season has passed and you are ready for the next.

I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Ecclesiastes 3:10-11

So let me leave with with a few mantras that I’ve started to pray on.

Although I may not be where I want to be, I am where I am supposed to be.

Although I may feel disappointed, I know that this season will pass.

Although I may have lost hope, I will continue to have faith in God, pray to Him faithfully and stay content within the season I’m in and content with God.

After I prayed these things and laid it all down to God, I no longer started to worry. But just to make sure that I continue to be encouraged by God’s word, whenever I feel myself getting down, I put reminders in my home.

Ok, I’m finishing this blog off now.

Hope you’ve been able to take something away from this post and have been encouraged, no matter what season you’re in.

Keep in contact with your creator, always, and in due time your purpose will be revealed.

Until then continue to bring Glory to God on this earth, as that is the general purpose.

Stay safe, stay blessed.

That’s all she wrote …

Story Time: My First Witnessed

Hey gang,

Hope everyone’s had a good day today and have continued to stay blessed.

I wanted to write a quick story, as it has been something that I have actually held against myself for years, but finally I’ve let go of it and taken it as a lesson. So I thought I’d share it with you.

Just before I start, wanted to say a definition that may be new to some of you guys.

𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇: mostly done in groups. Reaching out to the community and spreading the word of God.

𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆: talking to someone about God, Jesus and what it means to be saved.

Do not be ashamed, then, of witnessing for Our Lord …

– 2 Timothy 1:8 (GNB)

A few years ago my church was outreaching in Nottingham and I found myself in my first discussion with 3 Muslim guys about Jesus and whether he was the Son of God or not.

“𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛. 𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩? 𝙅𝙚𝙨𝙪𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙂𝙤𝙙.”.

As a newly saved Christian, I didn’t have all of the answers but tried to explain as much as I could with what I already knew and scrambled for scriptures. The conversation got a tad heated between one of the guys and one of the ladies I was with so our friend had to remove us from the conversation.

I left the conversation feeling defeated because I couldn’t find a scripture quick enough to show them the proof they insisted in having. I didn’t have enough confidence to keep the conversation going between me and the men by myself, even though I felt like I was finally finding my feet in the conversation. Plus, I didn’t even know where in the bible it was but I knew it was in there.

I felt like I had let God down but not trying hard enough, or letting my lack of confidence get the best of me and allowed myself to lose three souls in a space of 15 minutes.

But with everything there will always be something to take away. So here are three things this experience taught me:

𝟏. 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐋: Even if one party starts to become a bit heated. Firstly, you need to make sure that said party isn’t you, and secondly, keep your cool because if 𝐘𝐎𝐔 walk away heated that persons view on God 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 become more distorted, which then pushes them away from God even more.

𝟐. 𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐃𝐎𝐌: Like our friend. He saw that both parties were getting too heated. Unsure of whether the male party would become aggressive or not, as he was already becoming a tad handsy, he removed us from the situation. He used 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐃𝐎𝐌 to ensure that we were safe.

𝟑. 𝐃𝐎𝐍’𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐃: We are always learning more and more about God each time we read our bibles, attend church, bible studies etc. Don’t be afraid to bring out your phone to google scriptures either, it’s not a weakness. If anything it shows physical proof! Don’t let the not knowing discourage you. If anything you should be 𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐃 because next time you know you’ll probably know what to do a little bit better. It’s a form of practice, learn each time.

I know this because even though I felt useless afterwards, I was reminded that God said it with His own voice.

When Jesus was getting baptised, God made it known to everyone present, to all who witnessed the baptism, that Jesus 𝐖𝐀𝐒 His Son and he was 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐃!

I know that there are many scriptures where Jesus says that he is the Son of God, but this one is one we’ll all remember because it’s taught to us in schools from young, a story most of us will know.

Then a voice said from HEAVEN “This is my OWN dear Son, with whom I am PLEASED”

– Matthew 3:17 (GNB)

So if you feel like you’re in the same situation you can remember those three tips. And if you ever get the same question I did, tell them “𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐇𝐞 𝐢𝐬”.

I hope this helped you and encouraged you the next time you are on outreach and find yourself witnessing to someone.

Stay safe, stay blessed

That’s all she wrote …

Jesus SAVES!

New week, new blog! I hope everyone’s week has been blessed and filled with amazingness.

Also, Happy Easter Sunday everyone ✞ !

This week I thought I’d do a post that’s a bit more personal than the previous ones, so today I am sharing the first bit of my testimony, the beginning of my journey with God.

And what better way to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Saviour by reminiscing on how I became saved.

So. Let’s. Go!

Ok, I’ve been brought up in a Christian household. I got baptised at 2 years old, I went to a catholic primary school, high school and college and we went to church. But my family church hopped. A LOT.

I can’t even tell you the amount of churches that we went to but I’ll tell you that there was one church during my childhood that has always stuck with me and will always be the church where God first revealed to himself to me.

When I was about 6 years old my dad found a church, Gilbert Deya Ministries. I should declare that our pastor for that church was Pastor Mensah, and he was great. I knew he was great because his relationship with my mum was great. So much so she called him dad, and he always said that he was my grandad and I his grandchild. Sweet right?

Anyway, pastor Mensah broke away from that church and created his own church, due to a scandal within the ministries, but I really didn’t have a church I grew up in because we didn’t even stay in his church long either.

At this time I was 13 going onto 14, I just enjoyed being in big church and listening to what the adults were talking about and I never realised how funny Pastor Mensah was and I started to realise “huh so this Jesus thing is like a real thing? It’s not just stories in Religious Education then”.

But like I said we didn’t last long in that church.

Also during this time I was struggling with a lot of fear such as rejection, fear of not being loved, being alone … basically any kind of relationship issues a teenage girl would struggle with.

This actually got me looking for love in guys that really didn’t really care about or loved me.

I went through high school and college still dealing with this fear to the point where it caused me to go into a depression because of what people have said about me. It altered how I thought about myself and men.

I started uni in 2014, doing a foundation in Psychology, and I hopped from one relationship into another because I wasn’t satisfied with the lack of attention and I didn’t want to be alone when I broke up with my last boyfriend.

The boyfriend that I had in uni was my first in everything and we were together for about a year and a half.

In 2015, I moved out of my parents house to live with my university friends and I just became depressed mostly because it was a new environment and I was technically by myself now, I also wasn’t sleeping, I was terrible with money, I was just in a bad place. Even with a boyfriend I just felt empty like something was missing.

Because I had made friends through societies, Glee and ACS (Afro-Caribbean Society), I expanded my friendship circle and thank God I did because these people are the same people that lead me to church.

You see, it’s so weird. Throughout the summer of 2015 and when I moved away from home, whenever I saw a church I felt a pull on my heart. The thought of “I want to be in there, but just not this one”, honestly it sounds mad but that’s honestly what I felt every time.

Not only was there that but I also had my mum constantly calling me and telling me how I needed to find a church. So from all corners God was trying to pull me towards him.

On a Wednesday in February, I got home after a long day at uni and as I started to take my coat off I got a phone call. It was my friend Itunu, who I met in ACS and also one of the girls who helped in the blog ‘Newly Saved‘.

Our conversation literally went like:

I: hey, what are you doing

F: nothing why?

I: we’re going to bible studies, I’m coming to pick you up.

F: … what?

I: we’re going to bible studies, I’m coming to pick you up.

F: right ok

I put my jacket back on, went to bible studies and gave my life to God that day.

I remember sitting down in my pastors house thinking about how much he reminded me of Pastor Mensah and I remember having the words ‘this is it’ in my mind.

It’s actually crazy how God calls us home, how God puts things in place for us to meet him.

I didn’t even want to go to Bolton uni, I wanted to go to Bradford university instead, but God had other plans and look at where it’s taken me.

It hasn’t always been a straight road, but I can never say that I regret allowing God into my life, never regret declaring Jesus as my Lord and Saviour because no matter how hard, or how much life gets hard, God will always prevail.

So that’s how I got saved and how my journey with God started. Just 19 year old me thinking that my life was what it was and the depression I felt was something I had to learn how to deal with, not knowing that with God depression is not an issue, and that Jesus really does SAVE!

I hope enjoyed reading my testimony. I’ll be posting more of my testimonies eventually. Have a good Easter Sunday!

Stay safe, stay blessed 💕

That’s all she wrote …

Newly Saved

So you’ve just accepted Christ as your Lord and saviour. Congratulations! … Now what? 🤷🏾‍♀️

When I first got saved I remember being excited. It was new, different from when I used to just go to church with my parents and I couldn’t wait to see where God was going to take me.

As time went on, one thing I realised was that going to church was all well and good, but I wanted to sustain my relationship with God outside of Sunday service, but I had no idea of where to start!

I know a lot of new believers feel this way, as I was one myself, we have no idea where to go, or how to navigate this Christian thing.

Luckily for you, you’ve found this post, which will be giving you tips on what kept me going when I was newly saved.

Also luckily for you, I asked for some help from a few of my friends, who I actually started my Christian walk with, and they have given their tips on what helped them maintain their relationship with God in and outside of church.

I’ve also added the link to all the people and books mentioned, that way it’s easier for you to find them.

So let’s get it

Itunu

Within the church, one of the things that helped me, was speaking to my pastor and his wife about my struggles. Another thing was attending services that allowed me to speak my mind and gain more understanding about God. The friendships that I had formed within church really encouraged me and continue to do so now.

In my own time, books that spoke into my situation at the time also helped me.

A book I would recommend is

Dusty Crowns by Heather Lindsey

You can also find Itunu on YouTube under Itunu Mak. She shares her testimony through various videos and encourages people, through using her journey. I’d encourage you to check it out, it’s a great watch!

Naomi

One of the things that helped me maintain my relationship was meditating more with God, not concentrating on the big words, in terms of prayer, but just a simple conversation.

Being open to being vulnerable and having an open and understanding relationship of with my pastor. Also, reading my bible constantly like it was all I needed.

The Youtubers that really helped me were Breeny Lee and Amina, their devotion to celibacy at the time inspired me to keep myself.

Yolanda

Having loads of questions and debates about the bible. It seems random but for me I always had so many questions about God, the bible, Christianity and no answers. So becoming saved in the church that I’m now in, and being in an environment where I was encouraged to ask questions, allowed me to get some answers. The debates pushed me to want to read my bible more. It started off with me wanting to be right, but the more I read and debated, the more I learnt about God

Listening to my convictions. When you become a Christian, it’s great. Over time you start hearing a small voice in your head that tells you what you’re doing is probably not right to do – that’s conviction. For me, that voice in my head told me to cut off many things.

Drinking didn’t feel the same, sex didn’t feel the same, clubbing didn’t feel the same, I even ended a relationship because I knew what I was doing in it wasn’t agreeing with the little voice in my head. Over time I cut off everything that went against Gods word and went against that voice in my head.

For YouTube I’d say Heather Lindsay!!! She’s across platforms; Facebook, Instagram, Youtube and Twitter. She’s so straight to the point and doesn’t mince her words. And speaks direct from the bible.

Primrose

For me it was coming to church every week because I was getting convicted by the sermons and that helped me to change. Another thing that helped me stay connected to God was getting more involved with church which gave me more responsibility.

I would say I didn’t really read books or watched YouTube outside of church but I just tried to avoid what I was doing before, like going out clubbing.

Me (Farielle)

As for myself, I found that I wanted to learn how to pray alone. Developing my own prayer life is one of the things that brought me closer to God and continued to maintain that relationship with God. Building a relationship with my pastor and being open with him, even when I really didn’t want to be open with him. It always ended up being beneficial and worth it in the end.

One other thing, was the bible app. They have so many different plans for different seasons and they really helped me, including plans on purity, hope and a healthy relationship with God.

I wasn’t really a big reader when I first got saved so youtube did help and my two main go to’s were Heather Lindsey and Girl Defined!

As Yolanda has mentioned, Heather Lindsey was very straight to the point and her videos did allow me to feel a lot of conviction towards certain areas in my life! She also now has a podcast with her husband Cornelius Lindsey, which can be found on all platforms under Life with The Lindsey’s.

I watched Girl Defined on YouTube, but you can also find them on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Their videos inspired me as they really promoted a healthy, single Christian girl lifestyle, which is what I needed, and continue to need.

They even write books! Currently reading their book, which I would like to recommend is

Sex, Purity and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart.

One thing that was mentioned by everyone, in terms of maintaining your relationship with God, was socialising with other Christians.

“Being around other Christians that were on the same journey has me helped me to keep fighting for my relationship with God. When I wanted to give up I had people around me encouraging me to keep fighting, which really helped me, and it’s still helping me until today” – Yolanda

“Having people to share the journey with made it easier because we were all growing together and because most of us are in the same boat” – Primrose

And this is one thing that a lot of people miss out on. People read their bibles, pray to God and go to church but don’t have Christian friends to encourage them. Unknowingly, your friendships, especially when newly saved, can make or break your relationship with God.

So I encourage you, to find friends that are on the same journey, friends that are actually trying to live their life for God, just like you! Most likely these friends are the people already going to your church.

Not saying that having friends who aren’t saved is bad, because you can always encourage them with your faith, but it’s good to have a good balance within the friendships that you keep.

Christian friends can nourish and encourage you, whereas worldly influence can be a hindrance to your Christian journey.

As I finish this post, I hope that you are encouraged by the things that kept us going when we were newly saved. As you can see they were all unique to the individual, except for socialising with other Christians as that is universal. Therefore, I hope you can take these tips and apply them to your life, finding the right one for you!

Also before I go I wanted to just thank Naomi, Itunu, Yolanda and Primrose for giving their time to help write this post for you guys!

Stay blessed, stay safe

That’s all she wrote …